Don’t Rush What You’re Not Ready to Maintain

So many women are in a rush to be married and shacked up without really doing their research. Men, this applies to you, too. Take your time.

Getting into a relationship is easy. Getting out of one can be complicated, painful, and in some situations even dangerous. That’s not to dampen anyone’s hope; that’s just wisdom. Some relationships look good on the outside and are heavy behind closed doors. Some are hard to leave. Some turn violent. Some slowly drain you until you don’t recognize yourself anymore. So don’t rush what you’re not ready to maintain.

What you say you want in a mate, you should be working to possess those same qualities. If you want stability, be stable. If you want peace, cultivate peace. If you want financial discipline, practice it. If you want faith, make sure you have your own. Two of the biggest factors people overlook: Finances and beliefs.

Money issues will expose cracks quickly, and belief systems, whether spiritual, moral, or values-based, will surface in how someone handles conflict, family, gender roles, pressure, and purpose. The way a person was raised matters. You may think it doesn’t in the beginning, but those patterns seep out. They always do.

Desperation will have you ignoring red flags you would normally never tolerate. Desperation will have you settling for potential instead of proven character. And settling always collects interest later.

Get yourself together, heal, build, grow, and become whole on your own. Let it happen organically. I’m of the mindset that when it’s the right time, things will align without force. You won’t have to chase what’s meant to choose you. There’s a scripture that says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” Notice it doesn’t say the wife goes searching.

Women, you don’t have to hunt to be chosen. And men, you don’t have to rush to prove something. The right connection won’t require you to abandon your wisdom. Take your time. Your peace is worth more than a rushed title.