Bright Lights Threaten Dark Rooms

Watching my daughter go through things with mean girls at school has stirred something deep in me. As a mother, you want to protect them from everything; but you also know life is going to teach lessons no matter how hard you try to shield them.

The best thing I can tell her is this: continue to grow up, not bitter. Don’t allow anybody to change you because of their perceptions or their lack of self-worth.

What’s okay is this: we are not everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s fine. That’s life. The real issue is when people constantly try to bring you down simply because you exist as you are.

One thing I’ve learned on this journey is that people can be incredibly mean; and most of the time, that has nothing to do with you. When someone tries to dim your light, you put them in their place when necessary, and then you keep it moving. No lingering. No shrinking. No internalizing.

I know my daughter is still finding her voice. She’s still learning who she is in the face of bullies and mean girls. But everything is a lesson in our house. I remind her of her resilience. I remind her that we don’t run from things, we go through them.

The reality is this: most mean girls and bullies feel empty inside. When people don’t have anything going on within themselves, they often resort to tearing others down. It’s like the saying; an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Hurt people look for somewhere to put their hurt.

So I had to remind my daughter how bright her light really is. I had to remind her that she is my child, my seed. That greatness lives inside of her naturally; it doesn’t need permission to exist. I reaffirmed that what she carries is powerful.

And here’s the truth most people don’t like to say out loud: people who are dark often don’t like bright light. Light exposes things. Light disrupts comfort. Light demands change.

I reminded her of all the awesomeness she has going on, and I asked her to really examine the situation—not from a place of weakness, but from a place of understanding. Sometimes empathy is recognizing that some people vibrate low because they haven’t been taught better, haven’t been loved better, or haven’t learned how to love themselves yet.

But empathy does not mean tolerance for disrespect.

So, we grow.

We keep our heads up.

We protect our light.

And we don’t let mean girls turn us into something we were never meant to be.